I'm searching for something...

I'm searching for something... // -->

Sunday, June 26

Beer

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by

haha beer. LOLS.

Heli Dont ask me why 12:30 AM

Saturday, June 25

a form of protective clothing worn on the head.

I finished my econs essay paper yesterday i felt as if the mid year was over. No strength to go for the rest, just feel like floating around. Till next friday 5pm, then can i breathe again.

"why do we fall down..."

"...so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

To you: the sky is grey now. but grey clouds do not stay forever. after the rain, they give way to clear, blue skies. reap what you sow. push hard and succeed.

you can you can you can. :)

Heli Dont ask me why 8:26 PM

Sunday, June 19

a father quarrelled with his son because of some internet problem. and they went on and on talking about character and studying so much a waste of time. and then they broke out into a mess of conversations with no one hearing what each other is saying. suddenly it all went silent.

sometimes people talked about what's happening in their family. i feel more like talking about what's not. perhaps we've all grown and we need not rely that much on each other. we grew up having what we want in our own ways so much so there's non-existence of such thing called "compromise". or maybe we do but its all hidden. perhaps what i'm feeling now is what they felt all along. but who cares. who knows.

there may be things i'm not agreeable with around me at times. its not that i compromise. but i just learn how to shut up. not that i'm a pushover. its easier to escape that way rather than to get into an argument leaving things hanging in the air and waiting for someone to take the first step. i'm not easy going at all. if you have something already on your mind, go ahead i've no qualms no preference. you can do what you want.

in the past i'm trained to make decision, they called it leader. now, just give me a damn gun and shoot, i will. but don't tell me to think in mind who to shoot, i don't know how to.

Heli Dont ask me why 1:10 AM

Saturday, June 18

Esplanade Trip!

the three of us. :)

woo finally embarked on my cycling trip to esplanade today. heh was fun eh and kinda like cycling on road. Although dangerous but a different kind of experience really. I actually learnt a lot silently while cycling, generate lots of thoughts. For instance, you cannot sink into your world of thoughts while cycling. Heh eyes must open big big and mind focus on where you're going, and yah. it's a fruitful trip. Went over to lao pa sha to eat satay too but it tasted like ermm...better don't ask la hor. then we went jalan kayu also for prata before heading back home.

ermm to both of you!: sorry eh if i ermm not very fast ah haha. still very newbie so duo duo bao han. then eh thank you for taking care of me hor. i know your always let me cycle centre so that i can follow and got people behind take care of me. feel so ermm being looked after. the trip was splendid really. thanks!

and yup. so my legs are aching really. time for bed. good nite! :)

i've a crippled heart that fails to open the window or step out of the door. i just learn to take on another route and not the one i choose to. i've a thousand words to speak, many thoughts to share, yet it just sank and the tides just swept them away. i have a dream to fulfill but i know its hard to.

Heli Dont ask me why 1:32 AM

Thursday, June 16

oh well i don't know why i felt so angry from within.
he just listened to what my dad says that's all.

that's all heli that's all.

now i'm in no mood to study. crap.

-pissed for no reason-

Heli Dont ask me why 10:11 PM

Monday, June 13

twelve more days. this is bad news.

calcium carbonate + carbonic acid = hydrogen carbonate.
GEOG STUDENTS. if you don't find this familiar you're so screwed.

Bwahaha. go study hard ba you fools. =P

Heli Dont ask me why 1:01 AM

Friday, June 10

I've been searching for it for a long time.. walking from crowds to crowds always looking for something similar, something to look into to feel the same thing all over again.

Tonight i finally dare to look into these pair of eyes that
once smiled back to me,
once turned cold...
and now,
back to its orange warmth feeling again. hehe. :-)

Heli Dont ask me why 12:55 AM

Saturday, June 4

A lot to say.
Frankly i typed a lot yesterday, hmmm the tone wasn't that delightful "The page could not be displayed." So i guess it's meant and fated to be that i could not post it up. Indeed blogging is a self indulgent past time. getting lost in my own world, with my own fantasy, a whole night to myself. I don't mind if people fail to read between the lines and understand what i'm trying to say or meant because at times it all just float nicely around in my world that i just want to share it that way. maybe that's why i'm doing it still.

I like comments a lot actually. Be it good or bad, both are welcome. At least it makes me feel that someone out there is trying to understand. But even if there's none, ha it's perfectly alright. Look at the last twenty entries perhaps, it states comments (0) and oh well, enetation is down anyway. I've living with it still, and still blogging!

Tone of my entries has changed over the years which perhaps is a good thing. From immature with many dots in entries, and then sadistic and rarely bright feelings, to very deep and irrelevant thoughts, and a little of inspirational stories i have to share, and now.. i've no idea how to describe it too. The layers just keep peeling off till a point i don't know where i'm either.

Certain things are out of reach in life, that i know. At times i actually do wish you will be able to try understand what i meant at times and slowly open my eyes to even more things around me that are more significant like you always do before. It's sometimes altogether very magical and something to look forward to. A sweet ending always.

Lost in what i'm saying already? *laughs* Like i said, it perhaps just doesn't matter that much. After all, it's just an entry. Some people have disagreements on why have a blog, to try seek attention that you're deprived of in everyday life? Nah i've grown up from that stage. This is just a world i indulged in, and i'll most willingly share to anyone whom wants to enter this world with me and we can talk about the stars and moon.

I suddenly just feel i've many more stories to tell, many more lifes to come in contact with, and many more things to learn. Seventeen years of life, how many times can we fall and learnt from it all. I'm still young and i want more. I want to meet more people like you, you, you.

I've more to say my friend.

I want to go on and on, but will you be my audience?

Heli Dont ask me why 10:32 PM

Friday, June 3

Couldn't stop tearing in lecture today. Think J Ng thought i was weeping cos i saw him casting a you-ok look to me while i was busy wiping the tears. EH no i didn't cry, just tear cos of eye irritations. Anyway couldn't stand the pain i decided to go home. Went to see my optician, she says my eyes are slightly affected(but she scribbled a lot eh)and that my right lense has a scratch and.. ya dirty. O_o. So probably you shall see me in specs, the nerdy look these days while i should send my lense for servicing.

Hmm.. Probably i will wear on one eye only. Heh ai mei jiu shi zhe yang. ;P

Heli Dont ask me why 1:11 AM

Wednesday, June 1

Dad
I recalled that i used to like playing checkers or chess with my dad during breakfast. It's just you know a simple game, but i used to get very excited and always wanting to recorrect my move i've taken. He don't really give in to me but neither did he let me lose without learning anything. He's a good father. That for sure, i know.

I watched Star Wars yesterday and we're talking about the day when Jesus will come back to take the children back for eternity. And i thought that how dreadful the situation will be if i were to be seperated from my dad. Ha sometimes i just don't understand why he's so stubborn or maybe i'm the one.. ok perhaps i know it's all for a good cause. But still.. I just wish things would be a little better.

i miss a ship by the name of "Fey".

Heli Dont ask me why 12:30 AM

Personal